FAll Newsletter

 What do these things have in common???

• You are in a hurry, running late for an important meeting and somebody is driving really slow in front of you. You run out of patience and want to lean on the horn.

• Your favourite football player announces he is engaged to some singer (or maybe favourite singer engaged to some football player?) and in your excitement you want to scream and dance.

• Scrolling through Facebook one day you see a post from someone in your extended family that seems pretty racist. Do you bother to engage and offer a different point of view?

• With a deep sigh you read the news and discover that yet another government announcement has come out with an idea that you find so aggravating you want to throw your phone against the wall.

• A close friend gives you wonderful news but then says “don’t tell anybody else”. You are so happy for them you can barely keep it in.

• Your young child is insisting “me do!” but it is taking forever and the mess keeps growing...

The common thread? All are opportunities to practice the virtue of self-control. I am sure that given a chance you could think of a multitude of other examples when that opportunity has passed your way.

I am also sure that, like me, you can admit that your record of embracing the chance for self-control is mixed at best.

Paul lists self-control as one of the flavours of the Fruit of the Spirit. In some ways I think this is one of the most challenging, and judging from some of Paul’s letters (looking at you Corinth) I suspect Paul found that many people had issues with self-control as well. In fact when I think of Paul’s lament in Romans 7:19 “For I do not do the good I want but the evil I do not want is what I do” I suspect Paul found himself struggling with self-control from time to time.

Why is self-control an important part of living out our faith? I mean I can see why it is important for keeping us employed, or married, or out of jail but where does faith tie in? In a world where, more and more, we are encouraged to “just be yourself” why not just do that?

I think it is an act of love, the predominant flavour of the Fruit of the Spirit. Practising self-control is about pausing and asking ourselves if our automatic reaction is the most helpful, the most encouraging, the most appropriate, the most loving. We may end up doing that thing anyway, self-control does not automatically mean self-denial, but at least we have stopped to reflect on our actions and made a conscious choice. We may even find that we are moved to a more constructive action than our initial knee-jerk response.

I encourage all of us to think before we act. I encourage all of us to ask if what we are about to do or say will help accomplish the building of a loving community or will it just tick people off. Will we make a difference or just blow off steam (and if the latter will it hurt someone else in the process)? Is this event so important that we have to respond? What might the Jesus we meet in the Gospels encourage us to do in this circumstance?

In everything we do, in every situation we face, we are called to act lovingly, to love our neighbour, enemy, family member and friend. Over and over in life we are challenged to keep what is truly important in view and not be distracted by the shiny or the loud. Self-control helps us to do just that. We won’t always get it right, but we are encouraged, challenged, called to keep trying.

But I have to admit that sometimes those knee-jerk reactions (however unhelpful or immature they may be) do feel really good – in the moment. Sometimes what feels good is not what is right. May God help us all to know which is which.
--Gord